.something.

I know that I haven't been posting much lately.  But I did not want to leave a month without any post.  I just got to post something, ergo the title.

This is part of the non-bullshit mode, I guess? Or not.  I really have been busy doing most of the turnover stuff.  I didn't notice just how much I am covering at work that I felt much stressed out doing the transfer than when I was the one doing it.  I guess that's just how I see it - it isn't work for me.  Who was it that said "Get a career that you love and you won't be going to work forever"  or something like that?  He's right.  For the past 41 days short of my 5th year anniversary in the company, I haven't considered the work as work per se.  I enjoyed and relish each and every part of it.

My last post last June was the day that I learned that I had an angelic face.  Or at least, that was what my mgr said.  I kept mum about what transpired on that day because I wanted peace.  I stopped talking to my FM since then.  I was a very smart manipulator, and my angelic face won't work anymore for everyone whom I have so skillfully manipulated already knew me for who I really am. 

I know nobody could ever realize what it really felt to be there and told those words.  I have heard of stories, but they will never be felt as much than MY STORY.  I am not into a competition of drama, I am no drama queen, nor have I any inkling for such title.  I am just me. 

When people asked me if I am okay, I never answered anything else far from the truth.  I AM OKAY.  I am good.  I am not bitter, but I was hurt.  Just like any other pains that I have gone through in the past, there is nothing left to do but to have it healed.  The scars are there to remind me of past learnings.  Yes, they throb for sometimes, and at rare times, bring fresh tears of sadness or laughter in my eyes.  But they stay there, and made me stronger. 

Today, when I went to the office to clean up, I saw a butterfly near the entrance.  Who would have thought that a butterfly could flutter by around in such an area?  There was not much greenery about the plant.  But there it was, perhaps resting, on the cold concrete near the door.  A sign of hope?  Life? I don't know.  But it was a nice sight.

I went to the office and cleaned up my stuff.  It wasn't the first time that I have cleaned out my desk.  It was norm to sort them out every once in a while especially during audit times.  This time, it was different.  I poured over each and every item, from the documents and files to the last piece of chocolate wrapper (I am my own garbage collector).  I sorted the items that I needed to return, those I need to give to the support peeps, and those that are for mine.  More memories…

Mamu just texted me if I would still be going to report for work on Monday.  My mgr asked me that question yesterday.  Yep, I would still be going to work on Monday. 

A day before the revolution, major characters of the musical Les Miserables sang about each of their own worries of what is to happen.  Valjean, still worried of men who will know his past; Marius and Cosette worried whether they will meet again; Eponine expectant of the day Marius' attention would be hers, ABC students and revolutionaries plotting the way to freedom, and the authorities led by Javert anticipating the revolutionary plot. 

Tomorrow will be far away, tomorrow is the judgement day
Tomorrow we'll discover what our God in Heaven has in store
One more dawn…
One more day…
One day more…

What would my last day bring?  I would know when it's there.