enjoyed the view, and now i’m ready!

May 18: You've worked hard to get here, so why not take time to experience it for a while? Too many people climb up the mountain only to turn around and climb up one another one — but not you!  Today, tak ein the view of where you are, and spend a little time reflecting on how you got here.  The effort will mean more if you actively appreciate it. 

A time off.  It was just what I needed. It was one of the reasons why I agreed to go with my family to Boracay.  Honestly, it was such a very good break considering that I just came back from a successful workshop from Singapore, and was looking forward a pending change in my life. I have been working almost non-stop since I started 9.11.2001.  I barely took a break except those times that I was required by the doctor to rest.  Work was my life, my soul.  People wonder how I can work from 8am to 8pm the following day, straight.  I can.  For me, work isn't work - I enjoy working that much.

I have a pending job offer to join the same company in the Singapore site.  The visit to Singapore wasn't just a workshop, it was an observation at the same time.  As it was my first time to be there, my manager asked me to checked around also if I would want to go there.  Of course i said yes.  After all, I have always dreamt of living abroad with my family.  Not that I have resigned to the fact that there is really not much that Philippines can offer me.  It's more of my want to be able to provide and give my family more.  Okay, it's not yet an offer because I am still waiting for it, but it's somewhere there floating around.

I enjoyed the view.  I relished the climb.  I am here because I chose to be here - at this moment.  I lived each step, each bruise, each smile along the way.

May 22: Things are coming together, and you are ready for a big change in your situation.  All the loose ends are falling into place, and that should give you a good feeling today.  You are finally on solid ground with a new relationship, so now is the perfect time to stretch out further and move into new territory.  They may be waiting for you to make the first move, so don't waste too much time.

But sometimes, it takes less than one second to think about when changes are needed.  A lot of things has changed since the may 18th and today.  There are things which I wanted to happen, but cannot be fulfilled.  And there are realizations, acceptance, and finally, a re-engineering of strategies.  One thing I am good at, re-strategizing.  I can adapt fairly well to changes - good or bad. At least, that's how I'm going through so far.

Last time, when I decided to decline the KL offer, I have plans of staying put for the year.  I made myself some goals that I need work on this project for the end of the year, stay put and then work on my application to foreign lands.  It changed the following day with the single call from my manager, giving me another alternative which I wouldn't want to pass.  Today marked the day I accepted another change.  I am not going to Singapore just yet.

It's funny how that Friendster horoscope puts just those exact statements today after what has happened.  I have a realization of things today.  I just sent a note to my local manager telling her of these realizations - things that simply echoed the statement she herself has told me some weeks ago.  You have finally outgrown us here.   I think I did.  I can look back without any regrets of the years that I have stayed and learned in this company, but the kid has grown up.  Things are coming into place, backed up with political strategies and warfares, I am ready to face the world, a new world.

I haven't resigned yet, in case you're wondering.  This is just a moment to remember - an eye opener, a realization.  I am ready for a change - but what is that change?  Well… let's just see where this road will take me from today.