Setting Things Straight

I have stopped writing personal things that has happened to me for the past days, and posted things that were forwarded to me thru mail, or a song I heard, or snitches from friends' sites. i have my reason - or rather, my excuse. i want to write it from the level i am now, not at the moment of the impact.

Earlier, I think I posted my thoughts on top-view management style & other rantings then. i closed an issue on this post. to fix where i would be on april 17, whether Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia or Singapore, i chose Singapore. this meant that i declined the KL job offer, and i chose to stay put on this position, this company. To clear the rumors, which again I heard today, I have not filed any resignation yet for the past almost 5 yrs of work. I have NEVER filed any resignation paper. And friends, u know me. If i did file it, u'd know. trust me. why would u trust anybody else except that person who is in the position to do the act anyway? rumors come and go. but good news travel fast. that resignation issue maybe that much of a good news coz less than an hour since I wrote a mail providing FYI heads-up newsbit on the dilemma i was in, i got calls from my support users asking if i really resigned. Come on! No offense, but, let's note the word "Confidential" ? Or maybe, nobody knew the meaning anyway. Why bother putting it on the note?

This is just one more thing that bugs me about some Hogwarts people. Okay, i'm  not closed to everyone, but there are just some who doesn't seem to understand the meaning of confidentiality. I put no offense against friends, but there are some issues and topics that needs to be closed out to certain people only. And this is why I respect those people who value confidentiality at its best. Working from the top doesn't give any right to divulge to practically everyone what's happening at the bottom. (Am i doing the same thing? Am i looking at things from the bottom and practically telling everyone about them? I'm keeping them in names… okay, not an excuse. i am guilty.)

A little integrity, honesty, please.

*~*~*

2k6 appraisal had some disclaimers & highlights. 
Disclaimer - It was a very hard process, but finally management has completed its review. However, as the process was long and hard, this would be reflected at month end, and not to the intended date. @me: umm.. so it's our fault then that the process was long and hard? i'm sorry but i think my mind failed to connect the relativity of the process to me.

Certain Highlights:
1) people who are promoted had to know that they failed the criteria, and were just simply justified; @me: if people failed each criteria, whatis there to justify? ring ring ring. utang na loob? pleaseeeeee. save those lines at the exit interview.
2) people who are not promoted had to know that despite performing well, they still cannot be promoted due to certain people's stringent and impartial decision, but they did my best in justifying why i should be promoted; @me: okay, again, if people don't deserve to be promoted due to the criteria failure, then i dun't think i need to hear how the justification was done, do i? personally, i don't think the appraisal was based on political negotations (finally after almost 5 yrs). now we see the truth. it's budget constraint. that reason is far too easy to understand. why need more?
3) people review is across all levels - level 1, level2, level3 are in one curve. sabi nung pato, anong mangyayari sa amin kung kalaban namin sa sabong ay manok? [the duck said, "what will happen to us if were to put to a cockpit with a chicken?" — or should it be rooster?]. @me: the point, apple is to be compared to orange. orange is compared to the grapes. get it? if u don't, exactly my point as well.
4) age matters. @me: and this is really the point, that's why i mentioned up in 2 that the budget reason is enuf for me. but to hear that age is actually a factor? and to hear that "you're just 24"? and supposedly, people at my post is like "26 and above"? i never saw age as a factor. i'm sorry but i see people who aged not with wisdom but simple foolishness. i don't believe that with age comes with wisdom. With age comes, reduced hairlines and more wrinkles. that's it. wisdom comes to those who learn.
5) business needs comes first over anything else, political manuever can be strategized within the operation. @me: it's pretty simple. never make a statement that u would later on retract, especially political, publicized ones. statement 1: no need for a table. then suddenly, a table came in. statement 2: oh, there's a pending PR for table, and we kinda needed one, so we simply put in the table there. i'm sorry, but… politics really was never part of my hobbies. as in my above postings in blue, integrity, honesty, and respect.

i am not bitter,really. i totally understand the situation, and more importantly, the politics involved in the manueverings. frankly speaking, it's nice to see how things work finally if some people stick to the rules. it's different, but good. and finally, we're seeing changes.  let's see how we go on.

*~*~*

Coming from all of these things, negative, positive, most of the times the balance tips to how i see things from my perspective and not from how i should be seeing them really. blame them more on my being human. i'd like to share this piece from a mail that quoted these same words, the entry is from a journal of a dying man's cancer journal.

"Either way, we want to just make the most of this thing, to use a metaphor that I'm certain is inappropriate, give my disease, to suck the marrow out the bones of life, to live deeply and without reservation, hesitation or fear.  To breather deep the air of spring and the breath deep the air of spring and the breath of God, to savor the depths of flavors and the best of God's good earth and to "taste and see" the goodness of God, to hold the things that matter close to the heart, to treasure the hard parts of loving and frolic like a 4-year old in a mud puddle in the good, easy parts.

Don't waste this thing.
It's too good."

That's a good ending. Need I say more?