a tribute to the past

"Give the past its due credit, but not more than what it deserves."

Just a little something that i told my bitter bestfriend today. It gave me a haunting thought as well. am i still living in the past? i hope not.

For u my friends, learn well.

"wag na… baka ipagkalat mo lang"

somebody told me those words just now, and i just have to react really. i maybe petty, but there's one thing i pride myself in - my ability to keep be a confidante. so i'm really pissed off when those words were told to me. for someone who have the decency to told me to keep his secret, because nobody else knew it yet, and guess what? i heard it even before he shared that secret from a lot of people already. really now. ala lang. this is just me shoving it off to u.

sabi nia, he didn't visit my site, but he had the idea of what's here. i dunno really. but i just wanted to rant out what i felt earlier - not on a personal level, but more of to really assess myself if i really am inclined to this kind of attitude. basta ganun na lang. it wasn't serious daw, but i felt it was that's why i was offended. i dun't think i need to apologize for taking it as i see it, but hell, can i blame me?

ok. over with this & done with it. time to move on.

.end. realizations. start.

i have another work-related rant (as infracted calls it) to post.. including some other realizations at work.

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that april 17 issue needs closure: yesterday was the day i needed to decide. frankly, my decision last friday hasn't changed. i decided to stay. regardless of the who i talked to, or what others may say. i decided to stay last friday, and despite another up in the salary package, i decided to stay put for a while and hold the reins. therefore, i'm closing the question i opened on the earlier post. my feet will step on Singaporean Land on april 17th (hmm unless that trip backfires too, then i guess id be back at my desk having another usual Monday mourning)

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looking into the problems from the top-view: i don't claim to be a managerial type of person. i do have my tatay as an "idol" in this field, not because he's my dad - but the fact that i heard from people who doesn't know i'm family, how good he is. and looking back at my Sociology 101 days, there were some perspective that were taught how to look at it from the top-view. i guess, coming from a school where many rich people study (that doesn't include me), it's bound to happen. but working, as i am below, i'm not seein it from that point of view. being a subversive (i'm likin the word really.. ), i'm bound to see it from where i'm stuck at. i dun't think my tatay can blame me. but he keeps me at level - giving his point of view from where he stands.

what's the real deal here? yesterday, it just occured to me (once more, for the NTH time) (#1) how the top-view is very different if u're below. i mean, how else can u see the dirt if u keep on flying above and not smelling the S#!(#$#. so how can u relate to what we're feeling all the way down here?

(#2)if u're lookin from the top view, there is, a big, big, BIG cause of looking just what u want to see. really. somebody wants out. what reason? i remember an all too-familiar line of "better pay, better benefits, better opportunities". seriously speaking, these reasons are good. i respect that person who's honest enough to tell the truth of his or her issues. contrary to some people who have the same thoughts, but because of the desire not to burn bridges, came out with the next plausible excuse. if bridges are burnt for some reason or another, there are other ways of crossing the alli-swamp river. if i need to go that way again. i dun't really believe in burning bridges. i'm just not the type to get mad and bury it deep. heck, i have far too mcuh weight to carry around, why need more bad memories? okay, back to that somebody who wants out. for whatever reason, from the fellow person works with this person, we understand this person's crucifixes - giving him reason to leave. it's funny how a top-view changes that reasoning. suddenly, those reason of better things outside became unreasonable, most especially if top gives u a cup of coffee (starbucks pls?) or tea. get what i mean? i didn't imagine that kind of reason would just be so twisted enuf. oh… colleague says it wasn't a twist. a twist is putting a bit of story here and removing there. the difference is, the story isn't change partly. it's the exact opposite of the story. he's leaving because he needs to go to Switzerland (oops not this guy)… she left because she didn't get what she wanted. that's one story. or, he left, these statements "after all that i've done…" (this reminds me of a scene in Ever After when the wicked stepmother haha) comes in. (#3) Guilt is the best defense??. is it really that hard to look from that side of story and try to understand what those below seeks.

(#4) man don't live by bread alone. just as simply as man don't work for money alone. there is much more than man seeks, and man (most of them) can live with these things. some of these are: dignity, self respect, self-worth. if any of these is tarnished, a person walking out isn't surprising.

again, what i put here are simply realizations. as they come in. i meant no offense. (really.)

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Another Call: i'm increasing another counter, company 9 who just called in earlier today. i hope this is it. nothing's final, nothing's sure. it just started. so, u'll know when i know.